Grace of Heaven
by Layde3 x3
Summary: Sometimes you can't get the peace you seek, no matter how much you wish or how hard you fight.
1. Dreamer

Grace of Heaven

By: Locke and Demosthynes

Disclaimer: Don't own. 

Demo: Locke believes that love is love wherever it is so she supports everything. So do I, However we don't appreciate flames because Locke puts so much effort into her stories! So no flames about Relena or 1x2 or anything or I will personally beat you to death with a shovel! 

Locke: Demo had a lot of caffine..again..

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She didn't remember dying.

She knew in the vagueness of her mind that mortals remembered those last moments before death. The time where her life was suppose to flash before her but for her it never came. Sometimes she wondered if the angry voices that drifted to her meant that she was going to experience death again.

If it was, maybe this time she would remember dying.

She didn't remember dying but she remembered the pain before the oblivion came to embrace her. The pain was the one thing she would never forget. She remembered the blood, the sickening sound of bone crunching and snapping. She remembered the terror of not even being able to breathe through the agony. She remembered someone saying that she deserved to die. She remembered wanting to die.

Sometime after, though she couldn't pinpoint exactly when. Maybe it was weeks, maybe it was years she couldn't tell you-when she was lying under clean sheets in an unfamiliar bed, room and looked up into the sky. It was odd; she twisted her head ever so slightly to look around. She was in a field of flowers. She peered into the clear blue sky, with its fluffy white clouds. 

Slowly, carefully she sat up trying not to cause any pain. She slowly stood up, astonished of not feeling pain. She looked up at the sky, lost in its serenity. drowning in its calm, in its safety. Smiling, she sat down; amongst the flowers. She knew right then that even though she couldn't remember anything she'd be alright. Anyone that she left behind would be alright, they would heal and that this is where she belonged now. She was safe and she was happy here. Lying down, she stared at the ever calm sky just wanting to be lot in it forever.

_"Please…I can't..give..God ,please…"_

Her eyes widened as a low voice hissed around her. Jumping to her feet, she eyes frantically searched the field. Her mouth opened in a silent scream as oblivion enveloped her once again.

Gasping, she opened her eyes to look into the warmest brown eyes she had ever seen. Eyes that she thought she would never see again. Choking back her tears she whispered

"Hi daddy" He smiled down at his beautiful daughter. Smoothing her hair, his eyes filling with tears as choked out the words.

"Hi Relena"

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Like? Hate? Want me to die?


	2. The Way We Were

Grace of Heaven

By: Locke and Demosthynes

Disclaimer: Don't own. 

Demo: Wow Ly is cranking out stories and stuff a lot lately. Everything is really hectic for her..aww..poor Lyasa. Makes me almost help her. Almost. That sounds mean but I cook yummy stuff for her brain to work! 

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Chapter 2: The Way We Were

Like most brothers Milliardo Peacecraft or Zechs Marquise depending on who you were, loved his little sister. Like most brother's he wanted to protect her, keep her safe from physical and emotion harm and watch her grow up. Unfortunately he missed most of her childhood and protecting her from a distance was never the same as being there. He had missed her first kiss or when she first started high school and a countless occasions that he wished more than anything he could have been there. The fact that he was never there that made him doubt if he really knew his sister.

Like most brother's he was proud of his little sister. He was proud about how strong she was, how beautiful she grew up to be and just the fact that she was his sister. And that counted more than anything she could have done. He didn't deserve her, he knew. She loved him unconditionally.  She loved him, welcomed him after never being there, after he abandoned her. He always knew she was kind hearted. Gave her love to whoever accepted or wanted it, she was an angel who loved and forgave everyone and everything. It was that fact that made him worry. People, whether they knew it or not hurt her everyday, made her feel guilty, made her feel like she wasn't good enough, like she wasn't worth it. Through everything she smiled. Every assignation attempt, every meeting and every little thing that she went through, she smiled.

So, it was this and more that made him wonder as he often did if what he did was right. In the darkest of night's and lightest of days he pondered about her and his decisions about her life. He wondered if she would be okay, if she would die and a thousands "what if's" ran through his mind every single time. She was the only family he had left and he didn't want to lose her. Not again. Thoughts and fears ran through his mind this time however, a thought that he never voiced before came to him. His voice cracked as he asked the empty silence around him a question that haunted him.

_What if she didn't want to be saved?_

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Ly: I'm so tireddddddddddddd…my tummy hurt's too

Rih: Hey, you wanted to cook this time remember?

Give us feedback pleaseeeee! 

Much love 3


	3. Get It Done

Grace of Heaven

By: Locke and Demosthynes

Disclaimer: Don't own. 

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Chapter 3: Get it Done

Her fingers trembled as she traced her fingers over the wall delicately. Her fingernails were caked with dried blood, her hair hung down in dirty chunks down her dirty and stained shirt. Her eyes were wide with fear and confusion. 

"..Down and under…goes the way.." came her shaky and pain filled voice. Her back hurt her; the bright red angry scars were still hurting. Her ears perked at a sound. Cautiously she looked around, seeing nothing. She turned back when she heard it again. Shaky, she crawled on her bloody knees to look over her bed. Nothing. Painfully, she gritted her teeth as she pulled herself upright. Nothing. Her padded footsteps walked painfully around the barren room. Her eyes swept over the empty room, she sighed a breath of relief. Her tired feet took her to the immaculate almost sterile bathroom. 

"No…" came the shaky whisper. Her eyes widened at the person who looked back at her. The tired blue eyes, the long dirty hair. It was her. Broken and lost. She was broken. She was broken. Broken. Broken. Broken like a useless doll. Thrown away. Cast off. A useless, tired and broken doll. Anger started to wield up within her.

"No. No. NO. NO. NO!!!!" came her angry words as she beat on the mirror with her raw and bloody hands. "It's not true. It's a lie. It's not true…" she yelled as tears streaked down her dirty face. Staring into her distorted reflection she searched frantically for something anything. Grabbing a dull blade that was using before she grabbed her dirty hair, and attacked it. Ripping, cutting and slicing through the stained hair. The hair that she once so cherished. The hair that she had spent years growing and years to make it perfect. The hair that symbolized everything she was. Being rich, perfect, loved. Everything she was, everything she wanted was gone. All gone. 

"Stop her! Hold her down!" came loud voices as two men in white burst into the bathroom. They flew to her. Grabbing her arms, tackling her legs, dragging her out and wrenching the blade from her bleeding hand. 

"Keep her still. Keep her still!! Hold her down Damnit!" came the loud voice of a beautiful Asian woman in a white lab coat. She pulled out a needle and quickly stuck it into the dirty arm of the sobbing girl. She immediately relaxed. They set her down on the bed, as the doctor grimaced at her bleeding hands and uneven, dirty hair.

"Sweetie, look at me. Look at me." Came the doctor's soft voice as she smoothed the uneven hair down. "Why did you do this?" The girl looked at her. With her sad cerulean eyes, with her bleeding hands, with her dirty hair, with her dirty and bruised body. She opened her cracked lips. Frowning the doctor leaned in close to hear the barely audible words

"Because I'm not dead"

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No flames….too tired

Next chap called Dirty Girl


	4. Dirty Girl

Grace of Heaven

By: Layde3 x3

Disclaimer: Don't own. 

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Chapter 4: Dirty Girl

I'm alive. 

I'm alive.

I'm alive.

I'm A-L-I-V-E

ALIVE.

Damn.

Alive. 

Staring at the empty ceiling. Staring at the bare ceiling. 

"I'm trying to understand. Please help me. Please?" asked the doctor again. She won't leave. Always asking, always wanting more from her. The doctor asked another question "Why did you do this?"

I should answer her. Give her what she wants, so she'll leave me alone. Leave me alone and let my parents come. Let my mommy and daddy come. Let them make me be safe again. Let me be home again. I open my cracked lips, my throat's dry. I can barely hear the words myself.

"Because I'm not dead"

She's shocked. I almost feel like laughing as I see her fall silent. Where are her words now?. She quietly informs me that my parents will be sent it. Good. She's gone. I hate her. She's so obnoxious. Her and her perfect hair, perfect face, perfect everything. She has everything that I once had. I just want to go home. Home. With my parents. The door opens and I can smell the light scent of my mother's rose perfume. My parents come into view. Smiling at me, loving me. 

"Can I go home?" I ask as I study my mother. Her clear blue eyes, her long dark blonde hair framing her heart shaped face delicately, her long slender fingers rested on her bandaged hand. She was beautiful no doubt. Everyone said that she had inherited her mother's beauty. She gaze slid over to her father. Her loving, forgetful father. His short brown hair flopped into his warm brown eyes. As a little girl, she thought that her parents were the classic king and queen. Of course they weren't. They didn't live in a castle, they didn't have a happy family. They were prefect. There was no happy ending for them. For me.

"Not yet baby" came her father's deep and low voice. "You have to get better. They won't let you go without you getting better first'". I looked at him oddly. 

"Better?" Hell, I didn't even know where I was. Why I was here. All I knew is how I felt and how dirty I felt. How disgustingly pathetic I felt. I was angry. Angry at myself for not knowing, for being lost, for losing them. 

"Better from this. You can fight it. You have to realize, the reality of it…"

Words fade again, my mind hurts as I glance around the room. We're in her office. It's so clean I just want to vomit. I'm not listening because it's all useless. I stare at the clock on the mantle. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. On and on and on. It'll keep going. Time that is. Never stopping. No matter what it won't ever stop, no matter how much I wish it to. It'll never stop. Never.

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It may start to get confusing soon. Bear with me. Okaiz?

Next Chap: Touched 

Much luv 3


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